Week 1
Friday night; I can hardly sleep. My first class of ‘Writing the Landscape’ up at Victoria University finished this afternoon. My mind is buzzing, excited, this pollen thick in the air and hardly soporific! I grab a pen and write. I check the time, it’s after one in the morning. I daze out in a sleepy stupor, and my pen grabs me again. Part of me thinks I should wait till morning, but does the creative flow work like that? Does it stick round for convenient moments?
Every twenty minutes or so, my mind rouses and I grab my pen again. I am hot, agitated excitement bubbling through to my bed clothes and blankets. I strip what I can back, flushed for such a cold winter night.
My eyes close as I write further into the night, relying on the rim of the page to guide my lines. Does the fire of inspiration at night behold beautiful embers by light? I wonder if I’ll be impressed with my musings by morning.
My energy is draining, I’m pretty exhausted and I want to find a way to turn the tap off. Can we control creative energy? I breathe and my heart flutters. I breathe deep into the earth and I feel myself inflating; levitating.
To be clear; my body is tucked up in bed, but all the cells of … everything are now a l o n g d i s t a n c e a p a r t . T h e r e ’ s a l o t o f s p a c e and I am a tiny particle having an epileptic fit.
Where do I find peace?
Tomorrow I am going to a sanga session on Equanimity. The equanimity of joy is peace.
But where do I find peace tonight?
In exhaustion perhaps. Truly spent, I trip into sleep.
Tags: 2010, creativity, International Institute of Modern Letters, peace, writing
Ooh, you described that perfectly! Thank you for that.
I was searching for topics on “writing” and found your blog. I loved what you wrote!
thanks JAM. Sounds like you’ve had a similar experience