Squashed Mosquito Poetry

last night’s full moon gave me
a spectacular
touch

in the same way you do

I felt soaked in radiant light
and beauty and cocooned
in peaceful rest

I felt that close to you

and today, all day, I am bouncing
round in excitement
about seeing you again

about snuffling my way back into your arms

and chest with a kind of hic-cupping purr
and sigh and giggle
and maybe a snort too for good measure

bounce bounce
I’m so thrilled
it is you

I am coming to see

I turned over a new leaf last night
I start here – at the end of my story –
because, I have to confess

I haven’t held this space all week

my disentangling myself
from a triangle
made me face up to my

… dunno…

wants and desires perhaps
not sure, but I flowed with
my sense and impressions

to see where they would lead

and without much censoring
on my part, I came and left
the arms of

that triangle. We talked

through all that was unresolved
between us, and this led
us back in – and then very quickly out –

of that romantic space. I dived, I died

I dropped every moral ‘should’
to find the truth behind
the push and rush of desire

and in there I touched something insubstantial, an empty want

that gap where my ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’
dissolved, so entirely
that – come full moon –

my heart said totally and utterly

You! I hope this doesn’t dilute
or pollute your still water pure heart
your total completeness, I accept

you can only be as angry (hurt?) as you need to be with me

know that I want to hear it all
for we have not talked
like this, raw and reflective

to each other, it’s new

it’s weird having no
track-record in your eyes
you must think me flaky

this bouncing round in an emotional triangle

is not my fare
I love and adore being total
the shadow in my heart was confused

for whatever reason. When we were together, I find

it is easy to be present with you
- even with those loose ties still hanging
in my heart

but this time apart has given me the necessary window

to naturally, open and air
cobwebs and veils and red cords
and without forcing

tie them up, and know they are not mine

I feel uplifted, knowing that Love
flowed as it intended
it told me the story I needed

to hear, in a way, this is kind of what you were asking

of me. To know. I just feel
that inappropriate knot and glare
- my own static –

that I didn’t censor the ending

God! I hope we can still chase butterflies
and golden light together
I hope we can do much more as one

I really truly want to commit

to being total with you
with no expectation other than
letting my self and your self come into Being

I love you and…

I know I am imperfect
and yet I am compassionately reminded
today that Life is Perfect

I think starting from friendship is
a gentle place to start. I can smile knowing
the vast and infinite love that you and I contain

will spill over the edges of friendship, we can’t help ourselves

my heart is dancing in your sphere
whether you join me or not
I am there

peace to you, Beloved, will you dance with me?

in sunshine
in rainshine
in moonshine

in love
out of love

in Christ, in Buddha, in Shiva

in body, mind and spirit
in total and absolute darkness
in radiant disarming light?

Will you dance with me Beloved?