oil slick rain
the poisonous air
coating, choking
what have I done?
nails scratching on empty air
closing in to face my decision
I can’t look
I have lost my way
broken mirror
slice me open
scar this moment in my heart
how can love hurt love?
have I been True
or miserable and wretched?
o Dark Heart, you took me here
How can I trust you?
deep in my heart
come the cobwebs of night
and moonless skies
one dull star called Doubt
another called Weakness
the pointer marks Fear
a constellation called Loathing
did I have to run so far away
to break your heart
and cast my shadow into depths
I can not honour
or hold
how do I love
this person (my judgement)
is longer than the shadow
my shadow has darkened my heart
how do I face the truth
and meet you in this space
sorry my other one – I’m wearying of the lies
I’m sending home
I’m not sure this little spring moment
can sustain me
I want the happy ending
not two broken hearts,
mine, what ever way I go
I am afraid that I need you
but can’t keep you
our eyes can’t meet in truth
and my heart, at home,
can’t speak openly
The summer of my romance
at full bloom
empty alone and ripped to pieces
You’re right. I’m running away from you
God! It’s starting to sink in how fucked up I’ve been
With you
I long for the intimacy I deprive you
for the shared dreams you deprive me
How much am I putting on the line?
sacrificing a little island paradise
for a huge continent
or maybe it’s the other way round
unwilling to compromise.
Have I crossed the line with you?
I must be but an inch from it
How much are you willing to put up with?
Is it for fear or love that you stay?
And if I were to say something
something to make you feel better, or not
but at least something to say how miserable I am
that I hurt you this way and that I hate myself
And how scared I must be
to do something about it
For is it fear or love
that keeps me here?
A fucked up (island) paradise!
If our hearts are full of fear
I suggest it’s unwise to listen to it
I know my heart though in this matter of torment
- it is love divided
