last night’s full moon gave me
a spectacular
touch
in the same way you do
I felt soaked in radiant light
and beauty and cocooned
in peaceful rest
I felt that close to you
and today, all day, I am bouncing
round in excitement
about seeing you again
about snuffling my way back into your arms
and chest with a kind of hic-cupping purr
and sigh and giggle
and maybe a snort too for good measure
bounce bounce
I’m so thrilled
it is you
I am coming to see
I turned over a new leaf last night
I start here – at the end of my story –
because, I have to confess
I haven’t held this space all week
my disentangling myself
from a triangle
made me face up to my
… dunno…
wants and desires perhaps
not sure, but I flowed with
my sense and impressions
to see where they would lead
and without much censoring
on my part, I came and left
the arms of
that triangle. We talked
through all that was unresolved
between us, and this led
us back in – and then very quickly out –
of that romantic space. I dived, I died
I dropped every moral ‘should’
to find the truth behind
the push and rush of desire
and in there I touched something insubstantial, an empty want
that gap where my ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’
dissolved, so entirely
that – come full moon –
my heart said totally and utterly
You! I hope this doesn’t dilute
or pollute your still water pure heart
your total completeness, I accept
you can only be as angry (hurt?) as you need to be with me
know that I want to hear it all
for we have not talked
like this, raw and reflective
to each other, it’s new
it’s weird having no
track-record in your eyes
you must think me flaky
this bouncing round in an emotional triangle
is not my fare
I love and adore being total
the shadow in my heart was confused
for whatever reason. When we were together, I find
it is easy to be present with you
- even with those loose ties still hanging
in my heart
but this time apart has given me the necessary window
to naturally, open and air
cobwebs and veils and red cords
and without forcing
tie them up, and know they are not mine
I feel uplifted, knowing that Love
flowed as it intended
it told me the story I needed
to hear, in a way, this is kind of what you were asking
of me. To know. I just feel
that inappropriate knot and glare
- my own static –
that I didn’t censor the ending
God! I hope we can still chase butterflies
and golden light together
I hope we can do much more as one
I really truly want to commit
to being total with you
with no expectation other than
letting my self and your self come into Being
I love you and…
I know I am imperfect
and yet I am compassionately reminded
today that Life is Perfect
I think starting from friendship is
a gentle place to start. I can smile knowing
the vast and infinite love that you and I contain
will spill over the edges of friendship, we can’t help ourselves
my heart is dancing in your sphere
whether you join me or not
I am there
peace to you, Beloved, will you dance with me?
in sunshine
in rainshine
in moonshine
in love
out of love
in Christ, in Buddha, in Shiva
in body, mind and spirit
in total and absolute darkness
in radiant disarming light?
Will you dance with me Beloved?
