Tag Archives: death

uncertainty (13 March 2011)

23 May

I am standing
on the precipice
looking

the tidal wave is slower
than you think
but the momentum

the momentum … how is it
that chaos sounds so deep
like the earth

the earth shifted
into a completely new
configuration

I remember the first time
death met me –
losing a best friend

can make a religion crumble
and all prayers
meaningless

against its death (09 March 2011)

30 Apr

daughter, it’s heavy to hold that word
the way society would like me to

husband/wife, I have found a thousand
different sandcastle formations

to bring this to life –
and still it slaps round

like a fish seized from the water
struggling against its death

death (09 March 2011)

30 Apr

the smell of death
like a still wind
like a southerly front
out at sea
encroaching
approaching

and the breadcrumbs
thrown to the seagulls
squawking
like it is a banquet

and the breadcrumbs
mean nothing

they’re just leftovers

digging (16 Nov 2010)

14 Feb

Yesterday I thought peace
lay at a depth that took
unceasing labour
to unfold

like a flower pealing back
a bulb finding light
a snake losing it’s skin

dying into a deeper shade of myself

When I went digging yesterday
I kept on uncovering
I kept on uncovering

I kept on uncovering

the entire universe (Oct 2010)

16 Nov

When diversity is the entire universe,
and creatures fly to the horizon –
as is their timing, not ours,
then we will evolve in their death
and we will evolve in their life.

This horizon spells life, and creatures
will move across, after this life,
and they will move across again,
after that life too. We do not understand
evolution of souls

and with best intentions, we offer
to pull them back. We create a rescue plan
because we believe we need them
for as long as heaven
doesn’t.

What heaven can we bring to earth?

It could be a static museum collection,
a prized collection where Extinction
was the looter of laughing owls and long legged
wrens and many more songs
we can only guess at.

Their whistles and shrills
are bones for us, their silhouette
a milestone, or lesson
perhaps, and we open our eyes
to what remains; these treasures on earth.

What heaven can we bring to earth?

Sanctuary is freedom, yes, given at a cost.
To a bird, it’s just a thread from the sky,
but for those who use no wings,
it is a cage from the earth,
keeping out what may

hurt or die. Yet all those within
can saunter, sing, snack.
Those in the in are free to die of old age
while those without must learn
their ways are old and not tolerated.

Though light can tolerate shadows.

For that Tui is a territorial wee thing.
In the beauty of song or swift
flight camber, she is making
her preference of trees known
(those plump berries, that powdery nectar),

but in this sanctuary, there’s more than enough
to go around, more than enough
sugar, coating the sublime songs sung for supper.
And there’s more generations
and more warbling songlines to come.

There is space enough for light and shadow.

And when the sanctuary is the entire universe,
then everything and everyone contained
has a natural order and an original nature
that survives the first man
and the last, like a half millennia
plan is the Sunday that God intended.

shame (30 Aug 2010)

8 Sep

dust kicked up
  is that where you look?
or do you see, despite the grit
in your eyes, the amorphous
being that makes you cry
         you know a glimpse
is all that’s needed of shame
it’s a drowning character
  of led weights
         if you’re willing
to name it and let it claw
at you for the second
it takes to find its name
and let too your ego scream
seriously let it wail
(just don’t defend)
         then, and only then
  the quality of shame dissolves
because it can only exist
  without a name
or any other close inspection
         it just can not hold itself
  without your consent
(which is always coveted
  and assumed)
so feel it pull away and
  let it pull away
(for a moment you will feel
         powerlessness)
damn yourself with tears
  in the process and
burst through like you are
following that concocted story
to its own end. Shame is a peculiar
death, because it never in fact
                             lived.

I can’t take my eyes off you (23 April 2009)

18 Dec

Billy McGrath Painting Woman on Beach

Billy painted this for a friend who wanted to commission a piece to give to the family of the woman (pictured) who died of leukemia. I found out she was recently married and when I looked at billy’s painting, I was really moved by the painting. I literally couldn’t take my eyes off it. Within moments I wrote a poem as part of the gift.

The friend loved the two pieces. Billy ending up painting the poem on to the back of the painting.

I can’t take my eyes off you

I have come to a world
where a setting sun drops
in the middle of an ocean
where stars fall like wind on sand

and like a silk dress
wrapped to my legs
I know
  the outline my life will bare

I know
every cell has felt
your smile on me, I can only
show you what you already

have, my love

  I can only leave
when the readiness of light
is the long sparkling night
and your shining eyes

I am made from the stars
I am a constellation you
  know in the palm of your
hand, I am every heart beat in you

laugh for me (it tickles
my soul)
ah the joy is so quiet, I can rest
so still like no horizon every glimpsed

This is worth living for, Yes!
I can’t take my eyes off you

separation (20 April 2009)

18 Dec

it became sticky
- none of the sadness
would leave -
no matter how old
or forgotten

as old as the womb
in that space before
before an intricate thread of life
moved into a soul
and something got lost

a pattern got formed
out of natal memories
and some before life residue
solidified like the salt of dry eyes
and an unexamined heart

an umbilical chord plugged in
a silent unhappy foetus bolted
– a change of heart -
and now, in service, offers a life healing
cutting, unplugging, dissolving

all (life)time, like I could have been
born differently. In that space
I can find this pain
and needing the brightest
light to drown in it

No soul can survive such a separation

death by fantasy (10 Feb 2008)

4 Sep

and so when this river
is happy to go
another course

and watches as you make
your way into a dry bed, the
landmarks now point

to old memories, as if
evidence of lushness
passed through your veins

but you choose to trickle
thinly, hoping the ocean
will come in land

hoping actually that
the fishermen will
kill you quickly

death (10 Nov 2007)

20 Aug

skin; essential
yet transforming
(does it hurt a snake to shed?)

am I binding this change
with painful experiences?
Oh, make it a deadly bite

I am ready to shed this layer!
(deep runs the poison)
I am set to destroy and tear

down my ancient
moans of pleasure and pain
yet; my skin holds on, blistering

seeking an agony of old
to create new wounds. God
let this victim fall, let every cell fall past

even the earth under my feet
I drop in relief, there is no fear
(there can be no danger)

the ashes are on my skin
ready for the grave
let the final stage of death
  rise

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