Tag Archives: forgiveness

once upon a time (December 2005)

1 May

when I say Once Upon a Time
it is a collection of moments
the beginnings and headstarts

(not the Now; holy and present)
We came from the past,
that which repeats and is familiar

like paralleled synchronicities

that united upon this time
and in such a manner
as to present only a single wish

from a drowning soul, you see -
when I said I made a bold beginning
my continuum split

traveling independently
in your eyes
I went off course

and blurred when you took the photo
- never can a snap shot be objective
but simply a valid memory

or interpretation
of when you thought the story began
and how it came to pass

in truth; it is a collection of moments to a desperate soul

not of the heart (December 2005)

1 May

It’s not something I wanted to hear
when you forced me to justify
the actions of my heart

I said one motivation
was the final cut
I needed to make

to ensure my own path
You question the motive
did it come from the heart?

that perhaps my brain
was concocting it’s own reality
and solutions

forcing your hand
and denying you the chance
to engage

My mind leadith
you say
our lessons learnt, stolen

your patience rewarded
instead to another
robbed, by the thief in the night

seduced by a fly by night.
These are the ambling pages
you force me to justify

the heart with words
and reasoning
that the mind can play with

but when that’s all said
there will be no clarity
to forgiveness
on this path

mind’s timing (December 2005)

30 Apr

let your mind take control
and you will obsess
about timing

surely love knows no timetables
it’s life’s breath
is of oneness and wholeness

of parallels
and synchronicities
of now and here

yet this love’s test
shows I have an impatient
heart longing for more

the paint not yet dried
and smudged in my haste
it seems

and for that
(my heart ventures)
you have been wronged

the judge (December 2005)

30 Apr

you are forcing me to judge my self
for the hurt that I have caused
you want me to rationalise my actions

to provide you with a justification
for forgiveness
or anger

and all that rises inside of you
I want to honour your emotions
respect every tear in the process

every whisper of self you find
I want us to unbury our paths
and in compassionate tones

acknowledge our cross roads
and the duplicity of fear
that played apart in our lives

I want to do so much
to amend the pain you swallow
but I can’t acknowledge

what you want to hear
I am sorry
I ask for your forgiveness

but you want me to judge me
and dishonour the path I have begun
I can’t explain my stubbornness

all that I understand
is forgiveness is unconditional
and what passes between me and God

is not for you to judge

there are too many layers
too much history imprinted
to cast a stone at this single act

touching secrets (November 2005)

13 Apr

there’s no use pretending
I can’t hide that ticklish spot
which buries those misadventures

and holds space like a secret
for so long forgotten to the air
  of mount montserrat

and the monastery of our sacred mary
where I passed for my blessing
and promised no more

I forgave love’s shadow
but passed into watery depths
  of shame

like a feather brushing at my hips
it gently retold the story
surfacing, it pulsed through my body

and heightened sense
no longer numb to the night
no longer a secret in my past

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