I want to re connect
again so that we
can know the happy
versions of us
and hang out with the happy
versions of each other
and have fun with the happy
versions
we have created
I want to re connect
again so that we
can know the happy
versions of us
and hang out with the happy
versions of each other
and have fun with the happy
versions
we have created
thank you for wishing me
well into the heart of Jesus
you remain unconvinced
I will find him, dreams
are free you say, and
believe nothing to be free
I tell you; the light and love
of every plant and animal
and stream and tree
are more disarming
in life than you will ever
allow your self to know
I can only believe
in the message of Jesus
as a life force in a movement
any movement will do
how can you disregard
all else for Him?
you wish me to know
jesus, I will you to
know freedom
and that can never be
while we think the other
is without
and so when this river
is happy to go
another course
and watches as you make
your way into a dry bed, the
landmarks now point
to old memories, as if
evidence of lushness
passed through your veins
but you choose to trickle
thinly, hoping the ocean
will come in land
hoping actually that
the fishermen will
kill you quickly
see our precious spider’s web
and love it for its beauty
in dew drops
and fine silk
symmetry and patters
we caught the silk trail
at such a delicate moment
fragile and supple
we could wear the heart of this
like jewels on our fingers
I am so proud of who came through
when we found ourselves entangled
layers and layers
first mine, and then your own
the web of our actions
and dreams to come
this delicate thread
keeps us from coming undone
when I say Once Upon a Time
it is a collection of moments
the beginnings and headstarts
(not the Now; holy and present)
We came from the past,
that which repeats and is familiar
like paralleled synchronicities
that united upon this time
and in such a manner
as to present only a single wish
from a drowning soul, you see -
when I said I made a bold beginning
my continuum split
traveling independently
in your eyes
I went off course
and blurred when you took the photo
- never can a snap shot be objective
but simply a valid memory
or interpretation
of when you thought the story began
and how it came to pass
in truth; it is a collection of moments to a desperate soul
It’s not something I wanted to hear
when you forced me to justify
the actions of my heart
I said one motivation
was the final cut
I needed to make
to ensure my own path
You question the motive
did it come from the heart?
that perhaps my brain
was concocting it’s own reality
and solutions
forcing your hand
and denying you the chance
to engage
My mind leadith
you say
our lessons learnt, stolen
your patience rewarded
instead to another
robbed, by the thief in the night
seduced by a fly by night.
These are the ambling pages
you force me to justify
the heart with words
and reasoning
that the mind can play with
but when that’s all said
there will be no clarity
to forgiveness
on this path
let your mind take control
and you will obsess
about timing
surely love knows no timetables
it’s life’s breath
is of oneness and wholeness
of parallels
and synchronicities
of now and here
yet this love’s test
shows I have an impatient
heart longing for more
the paint not yet dried
and smudged in my haste
it seems
and for that
(my heart ventures)
you have been wronged
In my immaturity
I took my ideals to extremes
wanting to establish my identity
an angry gut reaction
to the shallow tests in my way
I failed to learn the lessons
instead I judged the judges
and all who conformed
I couldn’t learn from you
the rights and wrongs
you set your life by
I thought you were judging me
but all along, I was my greatest critic
it was something I wanted to deny
I judged and projected
defensiveness into our relationship
You, who mirrored my greatest
weakness
until I showed compassion
you are forcing me to judge my self
for the hurt that I have caused
you want me to rationalise my actions
to provide you with a justification
for forgiveness
or anger
and all that rises inside of you
I want to honour your emotions
respect every tear in the process
every whisper of self you find
I want us to unbury our paths
and in compassionate tones
acknowledge our cross roads
and the duplicity of fear
that played apart in our lives
I want to do so much
to amend the pain you swallow
but I can’t acknowledge
what you want to hear
I am sorry
I ask for your forgiveness
but you want me to judge me
and dishonour the path I have begun
I can’t explain my stubbornness
all that I understand
is forgiveness is unconditional
and what passes between me and God
is not for you to judge
there are too many layers
too much history imprinted
to cast a stone at this single act
love reaction
a chain of events
discovered too late
one might think
there’s never a good time
to fall out of love
never a rhythm
to start the next beat
a parade of smiles
unfold before your eyes
but you missed the look
while your gaze is lent
there is a secret
to this ‘letting go’ thing
- open your heart to love
and let the universe supply