a long line
in a lost ocean
breaking
and the waves roll in
a warm kiss on my toes
and wetting my trousers
as a playful dolphin
rides the waves
and jumps the air
Tag Archives: travel
images (9 June 2010)
6 Jultornado (3 June 2010)
30 Junarriving to a tornado
and then the eye
of this storm settles
here
for the rest
of my life
staying here is my calm
and excitement in one
my own personal
story
it is powerful
it is soothing
I am my better
I am my beauty and
I am the self I am in heaven
being here I can see
home is what happens
when my heart
stops running into the storm
Tiru scape (27 Dec 2007)
28 FebIndian air creates a soft light
for setting suns
a dust eclipse and golden halo
for eyes to be still or blind
thank god for no static
only the ballet of humping toots
snoring sirens, guttering metal
coughing into motion
and sneezing bells
a kind of impatience but not at all listless
the overlaps are flirting
with every sound and space
it appears constant
space appears to be full
not chaotic, just complete
and
I move in and around
through and through
what it means (12 Dec 2007)
26 Febthere he is, dishevelled
wrapped in a longi
barely awake, but
glowing eyes
that draw me in
a transparent emerald
pond to dive in to
we are alone
we are both exhausted
and collapse into a cuddle
that includes
the crows, the dogs
touching finger tips
the bulldozer, and finally
if I had any doubts of synonyms
for night time in India
the over volumned static flow
of prayers at four in the morning
AWAKE
dried eyed and sticky skin
we lie touching fingers
and ask what it means to be here
in this room
if we come up with an answer tonight
we’re allowed to change our minds
in the morning
taxi (11 Dec 2007)
26 Febmy first taxi ride in India
a sleek Cuban style vintage
upbeat experimental
bollywood sounds; loud
alas – no kitch demi gods
protection from the dash
(thou Gannesh is stuck to the windscreen)
it’s night time, I want to see
what I am doing. I am being driven
in the middle of the road
with the lights off – is this a game?
and then appears
a full beam stand-off
an on-coming headlight
starts the dance
flick dip flick dip
I am material, not ethereal
please don’t confuse the two
only one Holy Jesus passes
my lips – I’ve decided
blaspheming is redundant
in a country of gods
on every dashboard (except mine)
it is simply me calling to my childhood
God, albeit, in a state of alarm
I think I have the horn section
figured out now
a toot does not forewarn
warning or demands
for right of passage, not really
it is an ‘as-you-were’
it’s all pretty much
asymmetrical chaos
playing in the gaps of
transient light and sound
I decide from here on in
I have no cares
I let go of my foot on the floor
stamping into that imaginary break
there are too many details
that make up India
for me to be in control
this trip is starting out in deep surrender
come into being (9 Dec 2007)
26 Feband so my new chapter begins
here I come into being
with your esoteric energy
the surrendering made easy
more available
less tied to suffering
you have a way of looking
into my eyes
and I can accept all things
I can’t think of a better soul
to be journeying with
in this moment
Throat chakra (13 Feb 2010)
17 FebI sing the Gayartri Mantra
The entire plane ride into India
I may be singing for enlightenment
But really I’m subduing the little patterings of fear
India. Holy Mother, I’m entering into
The domains of destruction
Dancing with Shiva
With a man who kisses his feet
(The intoxicated devotee that he is)
And he rides the fastest bike in town
I confess; I love an adventure
He and I are an illusion
In love, out of love, in love
I fall completely free
To say I love you
Has a quality that sounds
Redundant. Love
Is all there is before the object (him)
And subject (me) ever existed
Take us out of the equation; I and You do not sustain
Truth. And I confess, the crakes
Are showing; it’s difficult to take
Myself as a known quantity
I am patterned, I can see that
(It plays out in my heat)
And I am strikingly independent
A Palm Reader who I have a crush on
Tells me I’m special; destiny is waiting
I see truth and contradictions in his reading
I see truth and contradictions in my beliefs
(mainly contradictions)
And when I stop for just a moment
Stop talking about Me, that is
I learn that rather than being left with
Nothing to say
It leaves me with Everything to express
Heart chakra (11 Feb 2010)
16 FebI need to start again, in Byron Bay
I want to live in Grace, she is spontaneous
And bewildering
And so intently creative. An opportunist
Where I can help write a book;
Living Well with Chronic Illness
(anyone who lives in the illusions
of suffering feels this
as the ultimate chronic illness)
So I fall and fall and fall
Into Grace, she is, by definition
More than I can ever ask for
Love comes in the form of healing
Healing comes in the form of love
I am dancing again
Under new stars
In a place circled on the earth
By god for me
I forgive you God
And I open the largest scar
in the heart of my known cosmos
like Uluru, it is a sacred walk
by men in their own journey into freedom
and I let go to the divine
it is a surrender like a snake dropping its skin
no longer needed, too dull perhaps
for the colourful funeral
of suffering
(pain lives on her own now)
I am in a different relationship to life
I love without boundaries
Flowing into the Holy Trinity
Of Love Triangles
I know this is my lesson (be compassionate)
Because last time I tore my soul into pieces
This time; it is clear
That honesty must guide this crazy path
No matter the cost
What is more healing
Than loving the best and worst in someone
And calling ourselves Sweetheart?
Yes, Grace is compassionate
And adventurous. She invites me
to India, pay attention, she says
and say Yes
Solar plexus chakra (11 Feb 2010)
15 FebWhen I stepped on the plane at Gatwick
To return to the Brazilian resting place
Of my heart (oh what a leap of faith that was)
I think a subtle shattering occurred
I wish I’d had some way of knowing
That it was me who had changed too much
To follow him, even out of love
A fire rebelled and the magnetism lent
Inwards, back to my deepest home
Where, no matter how far I wonder
I always and must return to her
(Aotearoa)
It is a confusing time
Of honouring myself
And clearly so in love
With a dream in distant shores
And then in the most shattering one liner
(I have found someone else)
All of the cosmos now becomes
My navigatable territory
Home is not big enough
My life is not big enough
God is not big enough
And all of this hurts in a way that asks me
To be as vast as my pain
Root Chakra (11 Feb 2010)
11 FebI start this journey at the Base
Earth, Grounding
Set in motion on the Camino de Santiago
Set a light by a life
That knows me as
Someone other than I am
I have a choice
Yet I give the decision away
Because I can’t find a reason
Watch me as I claw to Stability
At every cross roads
Where something more is being asked of me
Yet, stability is what I clutch to
I reason it as loyalty, honour, integrity
(like my mother taught)
I feel it as disquiet and a yearning that injures
All I know
If I am to survive; truly survive
Then I need to touch the one thing
That brings me alive
Travel
So here are the letters to my soul
When I cried to her as an unknown being
Of such gravity and grace
Knowing only that there was something
More to life and me
Than the impending marriage into society
My Poetry Book
