the sufi’s spin
round, they know
what it is to yearn
perhaps I was one of them
perhaps I forgot
who the beloved was
the sufi’s spin
round, they know
what it is to yearn
perhaps I was one of them
perhaps I forgot
who the beloved was
I need a muse like I need God
I need to colour my life
with carrier pigeons
and love letters
written behind closed doors
on the floor at night
#
I need the footsteps
of my life to sound out
into your world
and know the glorious echoes
are heard – tell me – can you contain
me in the quiet chamber of your heart?
Will you call upon me
as the beginning sound of creation?
If you hold this for me
I will call you.
You are so rare
#
Meet me
Meet me now
See how ruffled I am
without you
Stop dropping me off
at the doorstep
Take me inside
#
A muse is such a gift
if you were to leave…
if you were to leave…
you’d awaken in me
the yearning that’s inside all of us
#
These things come undone
in their own time and way
You’re the poetry
Graffiti on the moon
I hang to the mid-air
and I point to you and I point to you
and then one day
I point that yearning towards
stillness
I point that yearning towards
Stillness
#
I need a muse like I need God
This yearning is so precious.
#
Billy Holiday sings
I iron pillow cases
It is a rainy day.
I imagine I am a 1950s house-wife
and I care too much
or I yearn too much
for something else
to complete me.
I am a modern wife
and pulled, seemingly yanked
I abandon my ironing
and meet my man
in his chambers;
I’ve been waiting for you he says
he was lying on the couch
a bolster under his knees
she was straddled on top
like a baby wrapped to his mother’s heart
they were resting
maybe she was crying
into the nap of his neck
but in there I saw an effortless
comfort
collapsed and held in the same gesture
they were the weave of one body
they lay merged before passion
resting as a union of mind
I walked past
and my cells reached out
into that empty
longing
for the intimacy under my body
for my body to collide
in that way, to stop
and swallow his heartbeat
as milk
to feel our bellies
breathing as one animal
breathing as one animal
I felt the gap
the missing breath of my own
passion
and the animal that I am
searching
for we have not breathed as one
we have not bled
as one animal
I want to walk
there will be soft clothes
flowing
I’ll look serene
my hair will be down
and wild
I’ll see you
approaching
a sadness will overtake me
never has my heart
glowed like this
like I’d swallowed the moon
and you the sun
I will fall
like rain
on the earth I am her puddle
her splash of sorrow
her white gown shifting like a cloud
and I am wanting
to be held, to be opened
to be stolen
by night come day come night come day
I want to be held
I want to be lifted
from this world
I didn’t put veils on my
wedding gown
but imagine lifting them
each one
each layer
and lifting my dress
each petal
and then you gather such strength
such lust
for the stars and me
and you want to take us home
to find the star dust in me
you want to hold your tongue
out
and catch the milk of the moon
you want to lick my thighs
and remind me I’m human
and lost
you want to lift the very last veil for me
you want to take us
into every space
come night come day come night come day
you want
to show me
where no thing resides
as if a dream
were needed
you wake up
a tender certainty
pressing all around you
because you touched
the essence of your life
the oldest Love
embraces you
oh it’s too much to
ever want to let go
it fills
it sates
it is complete and life
takes you away
on a journey
to the twelve weather stations
and you’ve passed
the usefulness of these
recordings and predictions
you leave, still
knowing that tender touch
and a long ago voice
asks, can I join you?
‘no’ you reply
for you have outgrown
even that voice
filled with useful
advice and offering
a short cut
you walk
and wake
you walk and you wake
remembering that embrace
seeking
still
what dimension of love
is pulling you?
I start this journey at the Base
Earth, Grounding
Set in motion on the Camino de Santiago
Set a light by a life
That knows me as
Someone other than I am
I have a choice
Yet I give the decision away
Because I can’t find a reason
Watch me as I claw to Stability
At every cross roads
Where something more is being asked of me
Yet, stability is what I clutch to
I reason it as loyalty, honour, integrity
(like my mother taught)
I feel it as disquiet and a yearning that injures
All I know
If I am to survive; truly survive
Then I need to touch the one thing
That brings me alive
Travel
So here are the letters to my soul
When I cried to her as an unknown being
Of such gravity and grace
Knowing only that there was something
More to life and me
Than the impending marriage into society
I am here, I am in this moment
breathe
life’s little pause
suspend me
in this place
now and forever
only to move on
restless
wanting
contentment
life’s little joys
bought by me
at a price
yes, tonight you’re on my mind
never mind that you’re not next to me
you’ve tended my soul with sweetness
translated language into poetry
and spun webs of delicate words
what would I do without you my muse?
And if I were to bump into you tomorrow
I think I would take your hand
and read every crinkle of your palm
I would ask when our lives would next intersect
but mainly I would just be content
holding
and touching
and falling
in love we respect
this distance and our chosen lives
tomorrow
my journey begins
rest now
and listen
sink into the music
and travel
dancing with you
breath and cheek
so slow
I draw my strength
here you are
at last with me
my journey begins
with you